He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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