its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
