Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
