This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
