I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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