This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
