i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
That was before I lit my hair on fire
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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