cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
