Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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