Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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