Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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