"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Randomize
