i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
