she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
