So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
he just fucked me for my cheese.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
