I can't watch pbs sober anymore
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
