wat bout pragnant strippers??
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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