sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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