I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
