just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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