i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
