where am i from again
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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