remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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