You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
