no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
this just has baby written all over it
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
