Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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