i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
