i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
