btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
