After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
It was confusing and full of hummus
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
