I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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