So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
farters have to be the big spoon...
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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