Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
