So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
