I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
