All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
