tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
