Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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