Christians are straight up FREAKS
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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