are you still at the devil's house?
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
