his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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