PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
