just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
