it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
