u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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