He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Im part way to drunk.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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