champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
