I'm so fucking centered right now
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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