I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
