So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
