I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
