No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
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