he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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