yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
