My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
